I feel my boundaries, but discover
I have none
No frame of light can stop me so I bend
To listen, for I know no better grace than pressing
An ear to the earth, cradled inward,
Like a dream, where others walk and have walked,
Their footsteps, a crowd of drums.
I know their ways and weights gathering
Into the soft spaces, sinking.
And as a woman I stand at your opening,
New Moon, bleeding, because I too am full
To the brim with mystery and strength
Gained from marching across
The river to the Underworld–
That Other Night.
The neighbor builds something in his garage and
I’m propped in my bed like a patient
Who has checked herself into the hospital
I gave myself permission this morning
To see people clinging to leaves
To hear monsters crawling under the house
To be weird and far out there, after all, I’ve earned it,
Working in an office–sit down, do the work
No complaints, no acknowledgment of sacrifice.
Then I moved to the forests in Sonoma
That’s where I lost my arms…they fell off from takeoff.
Flew high on divine power…still yearn for it
Then crashed…Made myself quit the hits
And then had two years of spiritual sobriety
most boring fucking time of my life
I want it back so badly
the bliss of knowing unknown…of letting go to the other realms
But I lost myself in the name of “spirituality.”
I spent those three years
Asleep and under a spell.
It’s different now.
I want to let go and be myself
Not let go and lose myself
I am a warrior fighting to keep herself sane
It’s another adventure.
I think I’ll spend the day being my weird self…
And then the next day still being my odd self…
No one will know. Everyone is too busy
Thinking and worrying about things
They don’t need to be thinking and worrying about.
The mango trees and bamboo shoots
Grow thick with jungle light,
And yellow-blue birds flash their wings,
Cascading into night.
The stars that glitter deep above
Surround a dark-skied moon
And glow like silver instruments,
Humming light into tunes.
Sitting next to silk-tangled plants
the two immortal gods⎯
Man Adam and the woman Eve⎯
Passed days in sleepy nods.
Crowned in vines on green-gilded thrones,
The gods drank mango juice
While naming every animal
And giving each a use.
But one day Eve went for a walk.
She pushed away the jasmine and found
A simple apple tree.
Its branches softly limped with fruit
That glistened with the wind.
Its little leaves floated whispers
Of light with every bend.
Behind the gate and summer leaves
Where life is short and harsh,
The first real human-being was Eve
To lead them through the dark.