Not always sure how we spend it—
Only that we lend it.
But its rewards
Are the revealing of answers
The reassurance of go.
No dreams remembered of nights before
Just a sort of greeting from fog at the door.


Joy for Joy!!!

Monday, April 15, 2013
Sonoma County, CA
This morning’s very cold. There was a strong wind coming from the ocean yesterday and it has made the day and the days to come, very cool.

This morning I awoke from a very pleasant dream in which I was a dog. I was chasing shadows on the pond at the house in Indiana where I grew up.

One particular shadow looked like a cow but it was moving like a car on the surface of the water. I felt fear that the shadow would cross into my territory and I felt excitement to have something to chase. The shadow travelled on as if I were nothing, chasing and barking at it.

Then, it was gone and I turned around and there was another dog and I tingled all over my body with this feeling: Joy for Joy!!! Joy for Joy!!!!

And the other dog responded in the same way: Joy for Joy!!!! Joy for Joy!!!!

It was like living completely in the moment and not judging it at all. It was joyful to chase the shadow and joyful to see the shadow appear and d i  s   a    p     p      e       a

Bodh Gaya, India

February 3, 2013
The World Peace Ceremony.

As things often do, it comes down to the people. Religion has always been more about people than Gods or Buddhas.

Where time does not exist there is a devotion to the human experience.

Spirituality–really witnessing and experiencing it–happens when there is a transcending quality of energy among or surrounding or integrated into the world of normality.

The World Peace Ceremony is the ultimate spiritual high. And I think I’m addicted.








May 26, 2010

Two dreams last night. Both court dreams.

The first dream there was a man who had cut up a deer very badly and had gotten something out of the deer’s flesh that was illegal and immoral. Actually, I think the evidence was found for this one. He had greasy hair and eyebrows which proved that he did it.

The second dream was the actor Andy Serkis but he was dressed as Rigo from Little Dorrit. He did something bad and seduced Jane Austen’s Emma from the most recent film. She found the evidence in his glass eye. It was a glass orb that had water in it. It looked like the bottom of the ocean floor. And floating among the coral was a sewing pin.

July 2010

My mom had written a speech for a little boy’s funeral. There was a dental circumstance. I think the boy had wanted to be a dentist. Anyway, I wrote down what my mom said for the speech. During the funeral, I was the one who got up and gave the speech. But the paper had turned into a wooden scroll of some kind made up of numerous, beautiful wooden beads. I didn’t know what meant what. I said whatever I could think of: “Hide in the beautiful box where love and hate and life rest.”


Working for the Wedding Store

July 01, 2015

Today has been a bit of an odd, weird day. First: It’s Wednesday (good name for a movie…present self says, “Not really. Try again.”) and I normally do not work on Wednesdays, but the District Manager (DM)…we’ll call her Bee was going to show up today and so they needed a Stylist to open the store since  Bee and the Manager would be busy discussing things.

Bee reminded me of someone who is overly intense and overly serious–in other words a “professional.”

She was all smiles and buddy-buddy, but I could tell she had a heart of ice. She was so icy. I felt mentally numbed and my creativity and freedom sucked out of me.

An Athena in flesh–ready to defend the Patriarchy and Corporate means and goals–a business soldier sent out to give her opinion and for her opinion to be taken seriously.

Sorry, lady Bee, you’re going to have to earn my loyalty.

I wanted to ask her about the sweat shops in China making our wedding dresses.

When the wedding store refers to China: See here, it’s made in China, but that doesn’t mean the quality is poor. (At least that’s what they might as well say.)

She says to me so serious, “I see here not every bride purchases a veil. Why doesn’t every bride have a veil? Why doesn’t everyone apply for a credit card?!?! We should be doing our best…!”

Our best to what?


Bee had drank way too much cool-aid.

If the bride doesn’t want a veil, what do you want me to do about it?

Find out why she doesn’t want it, of course. Pry your nose into every detail of their lives–get to know them so you can take their money!!!

Credit? Debit? No problem.

We want numbers so that the store is quantitatively measurable. And then we will make quality judgements based on the data.

Get Happy! Life is about to be simplified and reduced to below, average, or above a pre-defined goal!

Yay!!! Life is so easy to fix!!!!

I wanted to laugh in her face and tell her that her job is a joke. While she was talking, I stared in amazement. Is she for real?

She probably thinks fun means roasting a salmon and eating on fancy fucking China plates.

She makes me want to rebel.

Dammit. I can’t find my weed.



The mango trees and bamboo shoots
Grow thick with jungle light,
And yellow-blue birds flash their wings,
Cascading into night.

The stars that glitter deep above
Surround a dark-skied moon
And glow like silver instruments,
Humming light into tunes.

Sitting next to silk-tangled plants
the two immortal gods
Man Adam and the woman Eve
Passed days in sleepy nods.

Crowned in vines on green-gilded thrones,
The gods drank mango juice
While naming every animal
And giving each a use.

But one day Eve went for a walk.
With curiosity,
She pushed away the jasmine and found
A simple apple tree.

Its branches softly limped with fruit
That glistened with the wind.
Its little leaves floated whispers
Of light with every bend.

Behind the gate and summer leaves
Where life is short and harsh,
The first real human-being was Eve
To lead them through the dark.